Given first name unknown, rumored to be one of the top five Christian names for boys since the Second World War (in UK?). First name was changed to "GREEN" at age 16 (1972) ..."I was on a train somewhere and I decided that the first thing that came into my head would be my name. So I was looking out of this train window in the middle of summer and everything was totally green, and so that was it."

Strohmeyer may be the original given surname: An article in 1985 referred to paternal grandfather as German sailor Strohmeyer. Elsewhere Green mentioned being beaten up as a kid for having a German surname. The same 85 article also mentioned Green's parent getting a divorce and Green following his Welsh mom, who got married again. So Gartside may be surname of step-father.

Born 6/22/1956 in Cardiff, Wales, UK. Is currently a whooping 40 years old. "Gangly tall" -- over 6 feet, blond hair, blue eyes -- and mascara always.
"Deep soft voice", "talks rather hesitantly and smokes rather too much" while shielding half of his face with his left hand out of habit.

* Favorite painter is French Marcel Duchamp, who gave up art one day for chess.

* Favorite contemporary philosopher is French Jacques Derrida, who likes to deconstructand aspires to meaningless musicality in his texts.

* Favorite fashion designer is French Jean-Paul Gaultier, whose suits have the most magnificent linings and Green owned at least one in 1988 which was covered in make-up at the bottom of one of his drawers.

(Do you also detect a Francophile pattern here? -- Okay, okay, I exaggerated a bit. He never claimed anyone as a favorite. He's too self obsessed! -- just kidding.)

His background is British pop music, Marxist politics, and art school (fine art not commercial art); consequently, his lyrics have a lot of references to the arcane things one's taught in leftist academia. It has nothing to do with pretentiousness. It's like any child aquiring a language: To ask a a child brought up speaking French to please speak English or to accuse the child of being pretentious is ridiculous. He learnt that academic language and he can't help but think in that language. For the rest of us, maybe the best way into this ScriPoli brain is this great parody of Green speak, written by someone at Melody Maker back in 1991. Believe me, if you've read any interview with the man, you'd go temporary insane. So better have this colored glasses on!

And please, if you ID the man himself on the street, DON'T HURT or FREIGHTEN the specimen; just pretend he's invisible (and make sure your hidden camera is ready to snap away evidence to prove to the rest of the fan club that you weren't delirious).

New rumors has it that he's actually not that unapproachable. You just have to know the magic password, which I don't. Oh well. But a word of advice from yet another Arch-Angel who's met Green: Do go up to him and just pleasantly show some appreciation and flatter him a bit. Everyone'd enjoy that, right? Besides, it's been a while and I'm sure he's missing the unbridled passionate love letters he use to get!